Filipinos need to work on their ego

The Filipino mind is Philippine society’s greatest enemy. If you read Philippine publications, watch local talk shows on TV or even just peruse other popular collective Filipino blogsites, you can pretty much tell what the national preoccupation is about. The national preoccupation is centered on the Filipino ego. To be specific, it’s all about who has offended who and who needs to apologise to whom. This preoccupation pretty much prevents our country from moving forward.

The late master of psychology, Sigmund Freud would have had a field day studying the complexities of the Filipino mind if he were still alive today. The Filipino mind is full of convolution and contradiction, which is the reason why we remain who we are today, a nation of braggarts and show-offs. A simple misunderstanding can turn a non-issue into a nasty national spectacle. If you don’t believe me, just google the name “Ampatuan” or look up that fight at the Valley Golf Club in Manila that turned really violent when two prominent families just couldn’t stand each other’s presence. Even the funeral of the late President Corazon Aquino was all about bruised egoes for it was said that the family wanted to heed her wishes not to have a state funeral just to spite President Gloria Arroyo. The Aquino siblings couldn’t seem to emphasize this enough to the Media during their mother’s wake.

Or take Kris Aquino’s and Ruffa Guttierez’s latest cat-fight as an example. I heard that the dirty laundry of these two airheads had to be ironed out on national TV recently and a radio talk show host even had to give it air-time and blog space (which I did as well, I suppose, but I’m just trying to prove a point). All that is because this is what the masa is interested in. Who cares what these two are bickering about? Apparently, almost everyone in the Philippines does. Indeed, these two reflect what truly is in the minds of every Filipino: The bruised ego and how to get back at someone.

Rather than focus on ideas or the concept of what a person is saying, Filipinos focus more on whether or not the person was disrespectful or polite. Filipinos can’t seem to shrug things off and take things with a grain of salt. It is a characteristic that seems to defy our Catholic upbringing. Jesus Christ needs to come back down to earth to reiterate a lesson or two in humility to Filipinos.

There seems to be something wrong with a psyche that makes us so vulnerable to getting upset or offended so easily. Filipinos get offended so easily from a perceived indiscretion and are often unable to move on to something bigger or higher than such trivial pursuits. We tend to be consumed with words that should mean nothing to us if they were untrue. This demonstrates a real sign of having an unhealthy ego and insecurity. As someone aptly put it, Filipinos can be onion skinned cry-babies.

I am therefore inclined to believe that we have not evolved well as a people. The Filipino intellect is still at a lower level in the hierarchy of development. We can attribute it to the simple fact that most Filipinos are not properly educated yet. Due to poverty, most people are more concerned with just satisfying basic human needs like food, shelter and clothing. There are also those Filipinos who have received excellent formal education yet are incapable of harbouring the occasional existential musing or thought that extends beyond their inner primate inclinations. It is not surprising then that only a few are not resistant to change. Indeed, traditional Filipino thinking styles are to blame for our lack of ability to change and to accept the truth. One would think that we somehow prefer to stay the way we are than risk being offended by the truth.

Our tradition plays a major role in what we value: our own sense of self-importance. We place too much value on how other people see us and how our actions are perceived. Filipino culture is averse to being direct to the point. We hate it when someone is totally frank. We tend to contradict ourselves when we project our coyness and at the same time, try so hard to read between the lines and end up failing at this miserably. This is evident in the way most Filipinos offer food to someone as a show of graciousness. Accepting the offer or rejecting the offer of food can mean two things to most Filipinos. If a person rejects the food being offered, a Filipino will tend to think that he or she was snubbed. Often times, the recipient is actually forced to accept the food even if she doesn’t want it. If the food was accepted, the person who offered the food might then actually think that the recipient was greedy.

Whatever course of action was taken can sometimes lead to feelings of anger and hate between the two parties because Filipinos tend to not really mean what they say and they just do things out of “politeness”. There is no concept of being totally honest for fear of being rude or being offensive. Why can’t we just eat our food in front of others even without offering to give some of it away? Why can’t we just take the answer “no” for what it is and move on to eating our food? This solution, for the small minded, is not simple, really.

An ego is invisible. No one has actually seen it. We are sometimes not aware that our egos are taking us over or consuming us. Filipinos tend to be subsumed by their egos. We can’t seem to make mistakes without blaming others. We pride ourselves in being happy-go-lucky or a people always wearing a smile. But truly, it is what lurks behind those smiles that is scary. Do we really smile because we are happy or because we just want people to see that we are happy? This is another contradiction in itself because we like our soap operas so much and we relate well to the fictional characters that are victims of greed and misfortune but do very little to uplift our circumstances.

A lot of Filipinos like the two cat fighting Filipina actresses I mentioned above tend to put themselves forward too eagerly or bring every conversation back into the context of their own experience. They are always looking for sympathy. They can’t seem to live without other people’s attention. They always want to play the victim even though they actually act like an aggressor. They don’t have any other achievement or purpose in the world other than to consume peoples’ times. The whole nation is not short of people like this.

A person with a healthy ego is someone who is aware that he or she is not the centre of the universe. A person with a healthy ego is someone who can step back and take stock and reflect on whether all of his or her anxieties are really just that person’s own mind messing with him or her. A person with a healthy ego doesn’t have to dominate every situation or doesn’t require constant applause. A person with a healthy ego can easily shrug off criticism and move forward to something more constructive and meaningful. The Philippines is so short of people with healthy egos.

This entry was posted in Culture, Lifestyle and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

64 Responses to Filipinos need to work on their ego

  1. jonphil says:

    Personality Profile of a Typical Pinoy

    1. Would vote based on winnability/popularity not on competence/intelligence (or would sell votes)
    2. Idolizes wowowee or michael jackson (after his death)
    3. Bandwagon mentality. Rowdy/boisterous when in a pack; individually, cannot assert oneself
    4. Looks up and respects rich people even if wealth is ill-gotten
    5. Talks loud when in movies or church; talks louder when cellphone rings
    6. Considers trillianes brave / escudero intelligent / pacquiao a hero
    7. Believes erap or marcos are good presidents and innocent of plunder
    8. Spends many hours watching TV soaps (may bukas, PBB) and browsing facebook
    9. Loves to use branded products although fake or pirated
    10. Claims the Filipino is worth dying for; Filipinos the best boxer, singer, inventor
    (Did I miss anything?)

    Your score
    10-6: true blooded pinoy – mabuhay ka
    5-1: covering up
    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

    I posted this on Pinoy Exchange. The brat pack banded and ganged up on the TS.
    0: anti-pinoy

    • ilda says:

      Hi jonphil

      Bandwagon mentality pretty much summarizes all the items you listed down. Individualism is not encouraged and is just not going to happen in our society because Filipinos are scared to be different. People don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. This is why Filipinos don’t have originality and why most people shy away from being more creative.

      You can read more on individuality here: How to become a successful Filipino

      Nice to see people from Pinoy Exchange visiting AP!

    • Wander-ruh says:

      Spot on!

  2. ChinoF says:

    Filipino mind? I think it’s the foot. Since Filipinos tend to think with their foot. The mind isn’t a respected commodity in this country. Once the mind does become respected, then our country will see better times.

    But this is still the right article, Ilda. Needed to be said.😀

    • Persona Non Grata says:

      Filipinos has their brains between their legs.

    • ilda says:

      Hi Chino

      You’re too funny. Indeed, the individual’s prerogative is not respected in our society. It’s all about pakikisama (the negative kind) and never mind what the person really wants to do.

      Thanks!

  3. Zadkiel says:

    Filipinos as egotist?! yeah! probably true. every filipino aspire for a paper.. err… diploma from a diploma mill (school). they put degree and a paper above of what you can do and the actual skills learned.

    every time I see an interview of a foreign actor by Filipino’s they would always include manny pacquiao if they admired him. nothing wrong with asking them, its just like shoving to their throats.

    by the way. I’m 0 from Johnphiil’s Personality Profile of a Typical Pinoy.

    • Ma Xianding says:

      Tawag doon FISHING. Insecure kasi Pinoy eh.

    • ilda says:

      Unfortunately Zadkiel, Manny Pacquiao is the only reason some Filipinos are proud to be Filipinos. They want to ride on his success. They think Manny’s success in boxing is enough to gain respect from international communities. Never mind that we don’t even excel in other, more important fields like science and technology.

      I’m glad you are one of the few who recognizes and accepts our shortfalls!

      • Zadkiel says:

        Quite True!

        But it is Manny Pacquaio that we should imitate, in terms of perseverance, humility, hard work, dedication, discipline etc. after all he did no earn his talents by just drinking booze.

        As for our own shortfalls, I’m still proud to be filipino. Its the negative traits that we have that I’m ashamed.

    • Persona Non Grata says:

      Zadkiel, You are clearly mistaken, Filipinos do not aspire for diploma anymore. Filipinos can be catapulted in international limeight without diploma. They have a secret without them knowing what it is.

      HERE IS THE SECRET: Boxing! In boxing you do not need to be educated. You do not need to have IQ. You do not need to have a clean police record. The more police record, the more time spent in jail the better the boxer you become. Huwag lang ang blood-test🙂

  4. Persona Non Grata says:

    According to BPOs Call Centers, only 10% of entry level applicants, THESE ARE APPLICANTS WITH DIPLOMAS, make it thru the first hurdle of their examination: IQ Test. Fortunately for these, they IQ is not only their hurdle, there is a very easy one: EQ. Interestingly, those who fails IQ Test make it thru EQ.

    According to local association of personnel managers, those with high EQ are more “manageable” than who made the IQ. If these numbers are extrapolated only a fraction of 1% (my number) has acceptable IQ and the rest are “maneageable” a kind word for “malleable”.

  5. Poppy Seed says:

    This is exactly the article that I’m looking for. Well said ilda!!😀
    Also, Filipinos don’t mind speaking out loud in public. Never mind if they sound like cackling chickens as long as they’re proud of their language.

    • Poppy Seed says:

      Wow 273 fans and counting… :O
      I hope they’re not joining this group due to their bandwagon mentality.😛

      My score: Browsing Facebook when I’m bored….. 0.5😀

    • Persona Non Grata says:

      Poppyseed, Filipinos are not proud of their language. Children sired by Filipinos do not speak their language anymore. Filipinos do not speak their dialect at home. Filipinos do not speak in dialect to their children.

      This is the writing on the wall that FILIPINOS ARE NOT PROUD OF THEIR LANGUAGE.

    • ilda says:

      Thanks POPPYSEED!

      I hate people who talk too loud. Full Stop.

      The words immature and insecure come to mind when I hear people talk too loud. Some people just want to attract attention because they can’t get enough of it. You can excuse teenagers when they tend to talk too loud because their brain is not fully formed yet but adult Filipinos who talk too loud are just plain boorish. It can also mean that they have not accomplished much and talking loud is their way of saying “Hey, look at me! Look at me!”

  6. Mike Portes says:

    Spot on Ilda! The balat sibuyas attitude coupled with megalomania clouds the first step toward reforming our dysfunctional culture. Another alarm bell has been rung, I do hope this will be met with clear, critical and empirical thinking

    • ilda says:

      Hi Mike

      I do hope this will be met with clear, critical and empirical thinking

      We can only hope. Unfortunately, the balat sibuyas attitude coupled with megalomania might get in the way – LOL🙂

      Cheers!

  7. Mariel says:

    Another thing I don’t like in our society, it’s so easy for many to hate than to appreciate people, for example- see how many hate pages are created by Filipino users on Facebook? Why???— Insecure, Jealous, or for no reason we just love to hate/dislike.

    • ilda says:

      Hi Mariel

      I suppose some people get a high out of putting other people down.

      Filipinos just need to find a better hobby to put their mind away from trivial pursuits. A more productive hobby.

      Cheers!

  8. Uncle Pinoy says:

    I don’t know how much of what “ails” the Filipino is a function of poverty.

    In the early 60s the Philippine economy ranked as the second most progressive in Asia, next to Japan’s. My father recounted how he and his associates would travel for business in Hong Kong and Singapore and be treated like kings. “Pretty much how Taiwanese businessmen are treated now when they visit the Philippines,” he said. Filipinos were highly respected for being well-educated and well-mannered. Manila was the “happening” place. Everyone wanted to visit, work, live or study here. It was a different time and place. Teachers and policemen were accorded the respect befitting their role in society. And in an era where freedom and theatricals were tempered by social graces, actors and actresses kept at the outer fringes of the mainstream. Graft and coruption were already present then, but the average public servant was honest and hard-working.

    Forty to fifty years later, we’re fighting to keep abreast of Laos and Vietnam. Poor economic planning and policies (protectionism, cronyism, etc.) along with oil crisis of the 70s and other worldwide economic debacles have deeply eroded our financial system.

    Anti-Pinoy lists the Filipino traits that keep the Philippines from going forward. Traits that are antithetical to what we were in the 60s. Are we that Dan Aykroyd character in the 1983 movie “Trading Places”? When as an up and coming stock broker he was genteel, honest and proper but when he lost everything became uncouth, thieving and murderous? Why are OFWs generally good and well-behaved in their host countries? Why do Filipinos perform relatively well in the US? Are the negative traits found in Filipinos present in Burundians and Rwandans, the world’s poorest?

    Maybe the solution is not social engineering, but economic engineering. If the Filipino has a job and a hope to improve his lot because he has a job won’t he be more genteel, honest and proper? How much of what “ails” the Filipino is a function of poverty?

    • ilda says:

      Hi Uncle Pinoy

      I love hearing stories of how it was like in the country during the glory days🙂

      I read somewhere the other day that people should not be satisfied with the status quo. It takes hard work and constant diligence to maintain quality. I guess Filipinos got complacent and failed to maintain their respectability. Hard work flew out of the window.

      Like you said, the answer to the problem we are facing now could be economic engineering and that having a job might improve someone’s behaviour. On the other hand, it’s still mind boggling to see a lot of Filipinos with money behave like buffoons around town.

      • Uncle Pinoy says:

        Hello Ilda,

        Having money does not change character, I apologize if you came away with that. It’s not about having money per se; my thesis is having a decent-paying job changes a person’s behavior. When one wakes up every morning with a purpose, with somewhere to go and things to accomplish, he tends to be more responsible about himself, his family and society. He answers to a superior and is rewarded a decent salary for an honest day’s work.

        In all probability, Ilda, the rich buffoons you see around DO NOT have jobs but do have money coming from questionable sources (government coffers, illegal drugs, etc.). Look at the children of Henry Sy, John Gokongwei, and Jaime Zobel: they may have been born with the proverbial silver spoon but they were made to work by their parents and have turned out to be responsible citizens. Of course, there will be exceptions.

        AP does a great job of identifying character flaws. But what can you do when a person chooses to be an A-hole? What we should concern ourselves about is behavior. How can we keep a public servant from taking bribes? By giving him a decent salary and showing him that we prosecute to the fullest extent of the law – these are economic solutions. Of course, we could “socially engineer” his character to not accept bribes. But which solution is more doable?

        Don’t have to mind me. Just ramblings of old man, my friend.🙂

      • ilda says:

        I completely understand what you are saying Uncle. I will come up with something that will deal with other Filipino behavioural issues eventually. I just need a muse to inspire me, haha🙂 Seriously speaking, I am aware of the fact that people have short attention spans nowadays that’s why I am careful not to write long winded articles. Filipinos can only take reality in small doses. I try to save some topics for dessert.

        Certainly, there are groups of people in our society who hand down the tradition of hard work from one generation to the next. This include the families you mentioned above like the Sy (my favourite), Gokongweis or the Zobels. They instil the mantra that each individual has to earn her/his keep.

        Money is just a means to an end. Having money does not necessarily equate to happiness and good behaviour especially when the money was acquired through illegal means to begin with. People who acquire money through illegal means have no clue as to what life is about. Hence, they still act like buffoons🙂

        I appreciate your thoughts.

  9. ice pick says:

    That is right . a lot of filipinos with money still act like assholes around town, eg. politicians’ sons, arrogant people with guns riding in cars, people who talk loud with their cellphones and talk loud inside cinemas. A lot of our shortcomings come from poverty but maybe not that alone. I mean, a lot of middleclass people were easily lured into the “ninoy aquino-cory aquino” bandwagon. Middleclass and rich people when they get together and occupy a parking space on the sidewalks or side streets even if it is illegal becomes legal as long as they are in numbers, and they are middleclass and rich. The middleclass joined the bandwagon that was called Edsa Dos(afterwards of which,resulted in one of the worst years in Philippine history …)
    Also, it is good to be proud of Manny Pacquiao, yan na nga lang ang ipagmamalaki, pupunahin pa ba natin yan? I think being overly critical about Manny also has to do with a negative pinoy attitude: pinoys wanting to be looked -up as admiring loftier, finer things than the more “masa” stuff. We want imported stuff, and we want to own or be knowlegeable and be associated with something that our neighbors don’t know (as much as we are also a “bandwagon-gaya gaya” people). We brag about the things that have on facebook., etc etc…..That’s why we sometimes shun Manny , or have become critical of the Pacquiao phenomena. Bandwagon mentality on Pacquiao is not a problem. Every pinoy should celebrate and bandwagon with pacquiao. And if you know boxing, you will agree that Manny’s feat is , no doubt, really really great…..
    Many of the things mentioned in the article above are very good, and are very true. Pinoys are very self-conscious. Sometimes we need to be more proud of ourselves..we need to have a healthy ego. Perhaps this attitude we developed as a result of being under foreign rule for so long, as followers, subordinates looking up to someone…That’s why we need to be proud of our culture even in front of a foreigner or in a foreign land, even though our culture or soceity is so imperfect….
    However there are also many things that are innate to Filipinos that cannot easily be changed. These are innate in our culture. What is good is to focus on the positive, the postive traits and attributes, and build on that. For example, the author has used the filipino’s custom of “always inviting others when we eat”. I know the author used it only as an illustration for his point, but this custom is our way of showing politeness and it is actually positive. No filipino actually gets offended when being rejected by a “no” answer (actually the filipino always say “sige” “sige” even if he means no). And the one eating just goes on eating. Just goes on with his business. This is just politeness and courtesy. Do this in a foreign setting and you will realize , we filipinos are really polite and friendly people. We filipinos need to have a healthy ego, but we cannot be so overly arrogant also. We are respectful and polite people. Arrogance is for the west. We need to be proud but not arrogant. Our culture basically is a “farming culture” , taking care of our own lands, rather than a “hunting’ culture exploring and invading other lands….I think basically our culture is also “tribal”…we hate each other basically….but we need to appreciate the positive things (and even the seemingly negative things) about our culture. We need to love our country more. Or have a greater sense of unity as filipinos..if we cannot , then it will be a long a process… for now, as it is, We will keep on hating and criticising each other…

    • ilda says:

      Hi ice pick

      There is nothing wrong with being proud of Manny Pacquaio. There is something wrong though with Filipinos who suddenly become proud to be Filipino just because Manny Pacquiao won a fight. As far as I’m concerned, Manny’s achievements are mostly his own. He was the only one fighting in the ring against the other opponent. He and his family are the ones who will mostly benefit from his winnings. Yes, he represented the country and is proof that if we work hard enough, we can achieve what we want in life. Unfortunately, not every Filipino work as hard as Manny and not every Filipino is cut out to be a boxer. We can excel in whatever it is we do if we work as hard as Manny.

      There are some aspects in our culture that prevent our country from developing as a nation. I already highlighted some of them in the article. We cannot be proud of our culture if it is what is holding us back from progressing.

      I speak from experience when I cited the offering of food as an example. A lot of Filipinos try to convince me to eat even if I tell them I’m already full. They can’t take “no” for an answer. They will assume I am always “on a diet” and am being “maarte”. Some even wonder why I don’t drink coffee and think there’s something wrong with me.

      Most Filipinos think that some of our quirkiness is harmless but they are actually damaging us as a people.

  10. Pingback: uberVU - social comments

  11. fritzy says:

    I remember the time when Jay Leno joked about us pulling out from Iraq. We started asking for apologies and other BS after that. Why should Jay Leno apologize? He pokes fun at his own president (at the time) all the time. What makes us so special?

    Also that time when Terri Hatcher’s character (I think) from Desperate Housewives poked fun at our medical people saying that the diplomas maybe fake. Why not joke about it? Kasalanan natin na nag leak yung nursing board exams. Get over it. Pfft…

    • ilda says:

      Hi fritzy

      Exactly. For a smiling people, we don’t seem to have a sense of humour. The concept of self-deprecating is very alien to us. It’s near impossible to deal with us. Humble daw yet, proud naman pala… ano ba talaga?

      Cheers!

    • Persona Non Grata says:

      Jay Leno apologized because FILIPINOS ARE CRYBABIES! Read BongV’s article on Filipino Crybabies.

  12. uncle pinoy says:

    (You don’t have to respond, Ilda, these are just the broodings of an old man. And it’s not a reaction to your article; your article is fine and I have nothing to add or detract. I didn’t know where I could post this.)

    PDI came out with an article today about the unemployment situation in the Philippines. To wit, there are 2.8 million unemployed and 7.1 underemployed. And of the employed, more than a third are part-time workers. That’s 27% of the workforce unemployed or underemployed, and that’s not counting those who have given up looking for work. That’s a huge number of idle minds and hands.

    When a person does not have a job, his self esteem sinks. His inability to provide for himself and his family depresses him. What could be more damaging to one’s spirit as seeing one’s loved ones go hungry and not be able to do anything about it. I think a lot of the neurosis described in this blogsite about the Filipino stems from this general malaise. It’s been said that for a man to be happy he needs three things 1) someone to love, 2) something to do, and 3) something to hope for. I think the “convolution and contradiction” are a manifestation of this unhappiness.

    Ayun lang.

    • ilda says:

      But I’d feel rude if I don’t respond to a comment Uncle🙂

      There’s just not enough jobs in the country. The government is not even looking at long term solutions like some sort of plan to generate business or make it more viable for foreign investors to come in and provide employment. In the meantime, Filipinos are forced to go abroad for jobs to survive.

      Another blogger rafterman recently wrote a compilation of the plight of the OFWs and the relatives who bite the hand that feeds them. You can read it here

      When I read it, I realised that a lot of Filipinos become truly dependent on remittances from abroad. However, they don’t use the money to invest or save. They simply spend it on things that have no resale value.

      Sadly, Filipinos don’t even think about gaining other skills to make themselves more marketable to future employers or learn a new craft to create their own business and be their own boss.

      Thanks for the figures. I might use it one day.

  13. Sweetkay says:

    ” A person with a healthy ego is someone who is aware that he or she is not the centre of the universe. A person with a healthy ego is someone who can step back and take stock and reflect on whether all of his or her anxieties are really just that person’s own mind messing with him or her. A person with a healthy ego doesn’t have to dominate every situation or doesn’t require constant applause. A person with a healthy ego can easily shrug off criticism and move forward to something more constructive and meaningful. The Philippines is so short of people with healthy egos. ”

    – – Sadly I am guilty of this at times. I think that if the Filipino will just stop trying to please people and start doing something to improve things as they see fit, then it would be much better for everyone. If everyone can just mind their own business and not be thinking if they are doing what is “right” and “acceptable” then maybe, they could do a good job of whatever it is that they are doing.

    Even in classes, you would already see this. There is that one student who knows what he or she is doing but since everyone is saying that it is wrong, he will change his answer so that he conforms only to find out in the end that he was right all along. But then, he would tell himself “okay lang yan, madami naman kaming mali e.”

    Am I making sense? I hope so.

    • ilda says:

      Hi Sweetkay

      You definitely make sense.

      I don’t know why people just prefer to conform instead doing what they believe in.

      Maybe it has something to do with people’s desire to have a lot of attendees in their funeral. The way I see it, if a person is already dead, why would he even care if there’s just one or a thousand people who attend his own funeral?

      I hope you catch my drift🙂

  14. carl says:

    Wow, you write as if this character is not universal and unique to Filipinos. Of course it’s not good to see mad comments all over the Internet. Filipinos are just simply one of the most connected nation (always winning web-based voting, e.g. Miss Photogenic), but that doesn’t mean there’s something deeply wrong with our psyche. Your article is too pretentious.

    • ilda says:

      Wow! You write as if you don’t care how idiotic a lot of Filipinos acted on Adam Carolla’s Facebook page.

      Of course it’s not good to see my fellow Filipinos wreaking havoc on a public site and exhibiting embarrassing behavior on the net for everyone to read. You guys just proved how right Adam was about us. If you guys just shrugged off his comments, it would have demonstrated humility and other people might even jump in to defend us. Well, obviously Filipinos are not famous for being humble!

      Would calling Adam names or insulting him back make us look better than him? Of course not! We just ended up looking dumber!

      Gosh! I can’t believe how proud you are of shallow achievements such as winning the Miss Photogenic! Wake me up if we win or get recognized for something more useful to humanity.

      News Flash dude: There is something wrong with our psyche. Just read my article again.🙂

      • carl says:

        Whoever said I’m proud about the Miss Photogenic? I’m citing it as an example on how wired Filipinos are, and news about Adam Carolla or Jacque Bermejo could spread as fast as lightning. I suggest you get to know other cultures especially those in developing nations, and you’ll realize this characteristic is universal and not exclusively Filipino.

        Of course it was idiotic to see all those comments in Adam’s Facebook page. But what’s even more idiotic is for you to generalize the FIlipino psyche based on reactions of a minority.

      • ilda says:

        Mr Carl

        Just because you have this impression that other people from other cultures behave like a buffoon does not mean we Filipinos can be excused from behaving the same way. We should act more like we are above insults and more importantly, we should act like we are better people. Isn’t that what some of the Filipinos you are defending are telling Adam anyway? That we are better than everyone else? How ironic that we are acting worse than every body else and even proud of it.

        You say only a minority of Filipinos reacted that way. How about the behaviour of some prominent members of our society, the ones I mentioned in my article? The likes of Kris Aquino, the Ampatuans and etc give us all a bad image too. I wrote this article before this Adam Carolla thing happened and it’s no surprise to me that it is so applicable now.

        You are very proud of things like these going viral but it only highlights the fact that Filipinos are only good at one thing and that is infiltrating all corners of the globe with our idiosyncrasy.

  15. carl says:

    whoever said i’m proud that things go viral so fast? i’m just saying we’re very wired and connected to the digital world. sigh i don’t think you’ll ever get my point.

    i agree about the irritating wall comments. about the irritating and shallow celebrities. but it’s the conclusion of a “deeply wrong psyche and ego” i find very pretentious and immature.

    • ilda says:

      Hmmmm…let me see..please read what you said again:

      Filipinos are just simply one of the most connected nation (always winning web-based voting, e.g. Miss Photogenic

      And here:

      I’m citing it as an example on how wired Filipinos are, and news about Adam Carolla or Jacque Bermejo could spread as fast as lightning.

      You wouldn’t even mention it if you weren’t that proud Mr Carl.

      Feel free to go on pretending that there is nothing “deeply wrong with the Filipino psyche”. Just don’t expect any improvement on our current condition in the near future because there are plenty of Pinoys just like you.

      You’re probably one of those who keep insisting that we have to put the blame on the Philippine government for all the ills of our nation, even the behaviour of each Filipino on the net.

      • carl says:

        Now I’m frustrated with your logic.

        I mentioned those to simply say Filipinos are very much online and connected, that all groups have access to the Internet, thus seeing those stupid posts in Adam’s Facebook page.

        And whoever said I was blaming the government? My point is that this is a universal thing, and not exclusively Filipino. Man Latin Americans and South Asians for example are equally embarrassed to their uneducated counterparts who bombard hate messages in forums and elsewhere. Do they claim they have a problem with their ego? I’m sure some do. Those who think they’re the educated ones, supposedly thinking outside the box, thinking they analyzed things very well. In short, people like you.

        I rest my case. You will always believe the root cause is our psyche. I pity your logic and reasoning.

      • ilda says:

        Don’t get frustrated Mr Carl. It’s your own comments that led you to this situation. If you were humble enough to admit that you did not make any sense to begin with, you could have easily moved on. It could be your own bruised ego that is eating you up🙂

        Let’s dissect your original comment:

        First, you gave some lame excuses for the behaviour of the Filipinos who wreaked havoc on Adam Carolla’s page by saying:

        1.”Wow, you write as if this character is not universal and unique to Filipinos”

        2.”Filipinos are just simply one of the most connected nation (always winning web-based voting, e.g. Miss Photogenic), but that doesn’t mean there’s something deeply wrong with our psyche.”

        Then you made belittling comments directed at my blog:

        “Your article is too pretentious.”

        Your second comment attempted at justifying the Filipino dysfunctional behavior again:

        “I suggest you get to know other cultures especially those in developing nations, and you’ll realize this characteristic is universal and not exclusively Filipino.”

        You still insist that Filipinos are excused for their embarrassing behaviour because you think that other people from other cultures act the same way too. You are the one being pathetic here, Mr Carl.

        Now, try not to take this too personally.

  16. waitwat says:

    It’s not unique to Filipinos. That doesn’t mean it’s excusable. Other people do it too. Does that mean we should?

    And you think nothing is wrong with that way of thinking? The majority of the Filipino people have that mentality. Maybe all that you are seeing -is- the minority.

    I don’t get -your- logic. “Di lang naman kame ang mali a! Bakit mo kami pinapagalitan?” You do something wrong, you get called on it. Someone else doing it doesn’t justify that you do it too.

  17. Pingback: How do we solve a problem like Kris Aquino? | Anti-Pinoy :)

  18. mooshmoosh says:

    I have to agree with you on that one Ilda: Carl’s comments are allover the place. Anyone could easily “misunderstand” you Carl with your jumbled up statements and reasoning.

    Ilda, just don’t mind this guy. He’s an arrogant ignorant. You just a hit sore spot and he’s defending himself (and the “minority”, ie the majority). People like him refused to accept their shortcomings, hence the back-lashing and those idiotic hate messages in cyberspace. Whatever you tell him or his type will just aggravate them more.

    I’m a a Filipina. I don’t really mind the country itself since I could still see potentials of a great economy. What I don’t like however are the people themselves, I’m itching to leave this country because of them. You say that Filipinos are polite and friendly? There’s always a motive behind that friendly smile. They’re easy to manage and polite? It’s because they’re gutless and have low self-esteem. The only time you get to see them being obnoxious is when in a pack. They accused other nations for bigotry but the foreigners here (who stayed longer than a month) never felt so alienated and picked on so openly before. It’s shameful to see that the majority are close-minded hypocrites.

    I’m just glad that I married an unusual Filipino: assertive, open-minded, humble, thick-skinned gentleman. A peculiar one indeed. :-p

  19. mooshmoosh says:

    It’s funny, you just wrote exactly the characteristics of my grandma (and majority of my relatives):

    “They are always looking for sympathy. They can’t seem to live without other people’s attention. They always want to play the victim even though they actually act like an aggressor. They don’t have any other achievement or purpose in the world other than to consume peoples’ times. The whole nation is not short of people like this.”

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw that 🙂

  20. Future MMA Star says:

    Your totally rite you know what its like to go around this country being 260lbs-6’1′-British/Filipino everyone cant help but look and judge you seriously you speek the truth ilda. I am proud that there are Filipinos like you who see through are fellow country Mens fassaud. I mean seriously I cant even go out of my house without those people staring at me. I have traveled in other countries and this is the only country that I find act this way I get really embarassed by this. My fellow people they act like they have no breeding or class non whatsoever but during my trip back to my fathers native land. I have found that the people there are very respectful and courtious they do not judge me for being half or for my size. Even in China and Japan they don not judge me also in Thailand sad to say what happened to the Philippines why is it full of jealousy hate greed and corruption?

    • ilda says:

      Never mind the oglers in the country. They probably like your skin colour🙂

      I get stared at all the time too especially when I wear a skirt. Both men and women do not know how to be subtle at checking someone out. They prefer to be blatantly obvious that they are scrutinizing everything.

      It’s not easy to understand what makes Filipinos tick even if you’ve been living in the country all your life. Keep an eye on your wallet all the time.

      Cheers!

  21. i got the point of some who left their response….
    but as a Filipino, i oppose some of the statements regarding the Filipinos.
    yes, it’s true that there are many ill-manners that Filipinos are doing, but those can’t prevail not because of the too much corruption in the country which lead to a boosting poverty in the nation…

    understand that there are problems, ill-manners and awful smells in every country.
    in the case of this country, these are their marks in their lives…

    please, never be an anti-pinoy!
    thank you
    god bless!

  22. i got the point of some who left their response….
    but as a Filipino, i oppose some of the statements regarding the Filipinos.
    yes, it’s true that there are many ill-manners that Filipinos are doing, but those can’t prevail not because of the too much corruption in the country which lead to a boosting poverty in the nation…

    understand that there are problems, ill-manners and awful smells in every country.
    in the case of this country, these are their marks in their lives…

    please, never be an anti-pinoy!
    thank you
    god bless!😛

    • ChinoF says:

      Hey Jerico,
      You got a point. But the author and myself just has this point too…. if you know there are ill-manners in your culture and among your people as well as in every country, should you just leave it alone?
      Yeah, never be an anti-pinoy! The ones we’re writing about!
      Good day.

  23. Jane says:

    Yes you hit a nail in the head. We Filipinos as a whole are very thin skinned and get offended really quickly. We are like the insecure kid who bites at anyone who teases him. I guess in a way you can say we are a honor bound society, but when I talk about honor I don’t mean “principles” but rather “face.” Pride is the worst of all sins because it blinds you to self examination, reality and change. This is the sickness of our society.

    • Maki_Alam says:

      “Pride is the worst of all sins because it blinds you to self examination, reality and change. This is the sickness of our society.”

      I couldn’t agree more. If we can’t even acknowledge that there is a problem, how can we possibly improve? Maybe this is what ‘Pinoy pride’ truly means. We kick up a storm when someone insults us, not because what they said is false, but because what they said is true. And deep down, we know it to be true. We just don’t want it pointed out to us. Not even if it’s constructive and for our own good. This kind of knee-jerk reaction ought to be curbed. I find it helps to count from 1 to 10 — slowly — before opening your mouth (or your Facebook) to retort. Gives you time to calm down and react more intelligently, you know?😀

      Oh, I also find it so ironic that Manny Pacquiao is widely known for his humility, yet his loudest, most obnoxious fans can’t take a cue from their own idol.

  24. charpierre says:

    Totoo ang mga sinabi mo, ilda. Guilty ako dito at ngayon ay i-evaluate ko sarili ko at magbago for good. Interesado akong basahin ang ibang articles mo dahil isa ka sa mga tao na makakita sa mga bagay na hindi ko makita para matoto. At magaling kang magsulat. Maraming salamat.

  25. Pingback: Is there a Right to Offend? | Get Real Post

  26. Pingback: Celebration of People is Overrated - Get Real PostGet Real Post

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s