A Lexus to drive and God on his side – Noynoy's got it made

Philippine President Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino III needs to get a few tips from President Hosni Mubarak on how to shut down the Internet. Lately he’s been feeling “exasperated” by all the unfair treatment he’s been getting from the Philippine Media — you know, the one that his mommy set free back in 1986…

A Lexus LX570

Poor little rich boy. He’s a frustrated humble-man-wannabe with a taste for Porsches and armoured Lexi (plural for Lexus). That kind of bag of mixed confused messages must surely be the bane of any practitioner of the communication arts. Indeed Noynoy’s chief mouthpiece is certainly earning the measly Malacanang salary he is being paid. As if his tongue-twister of a title weren’t enough of a mouthful, Presidential Communications Operations Office head Herminio Coloma Jr seems doomed to stammer through hundreds of apologies, excuses, and rationales on behalf of the Prayerful One everyday for the next six years.

The Lexus thing alone is already taxing Coloma’s research faculties, having invoked (1) the merits of leasing versus buying, (2) its superior “security features”, and (3) the effects of 2009 typhoon Ondoy on the Presidential vehicles used by former President Gloria Arroyo, ALL for the purpose of explaining his boss’s widely noted use of that fine automobile in which he was spotted “driving to an official function”.

What’s up with all the dabog over the Media’s “misguided” focus anyway, Chief? Don’t cry, Mr President. Your official campaign newsletter (tongue-in-cheek remark, bossing, so don’t sick your lawyers on me) recently crowned you Filipino of the Year pa naman.

Noynoy has, in fact, offered prayers that God might grant him sufficient “fortitude” to deal with it. I did conclude earlier though that perhaps it isn’t sufficient fortitude that the President needs but the right attitude. I came to that conclusion in light of his use of the term “kabuwisitan” (“pain-in-the-ass” in the Commonwealth vernacular), to describe his many challenges.

One thing’s for sure. Whether they are “challenges” or “kabuwisitan“, Noynoy has only one option if he is to be President of the Filipino people for the next SIX YEARS, and that is to deal with it. With the Almighty himself on his side, I don’t think that’s really asking much, don’t you think so sir?

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About benign0

benign0 is the Web master of GetRealPhilippines.com
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31 Responses to A Lexus to drive and God on his side – Noynoy's got it made

  1. ChinoF says:

    That media is giving him “unfair treatment” is itself a lie… (well, I had to state the obvious, lol). That Filipino of the Year award is mass media’s general sentiment. Only alternative or fringe media thinks differently. Oh, that includes us. hehehe

    • Hyden Toro says:

      Noynoy Aquino used the Media…now he is complaining about the Media? It is because he cannot control Bloggers and Tweeters…he tried paying Hackers, to Hack the computers of these “Peste na Bloggers”.Unfortunately; some of the “Peste na Bloggers” have more advanced knowledge in Computer Technology than his paid Hackers…he is much uncomfortable; if he has no control…What a Spoiled Rich Kid…

  2. anon says:

    i agree with your insights and compliment you on your eloquence.

    could you teach our politicians about the art of debate, discussion, and democracy.

    i had more enlightening and interesting discussions when i was 12.

    maybe they should all take lie detector and intelligence tests, and yes all would fail

    what a sad state of affairs and hardly the foundation for a new philippines.

    the usual suspects are still in power directly or indirectly so the only change is what car is p-noy driving.

    maybe a triumvarate of roxas, de lima and robredo is the best chance but they will be opposed in their efforts.

    and it is no coincidence that binay is in washington now. nothing to do with housing. dark forces are re-grouping.

  3. But Wait! There's More! says:

    IT’S TRUE! MEDIA IS TREATING HIM UNFAIRLY!

    HE DOESN’T”T  DESERVE THE PRAISE HE’S GETTING!

    Not yet anyway. Or not the likes of a “Filipino of the Year” anyway. haha.

     As of now, He has just been his mother and father’s son and the choice of a few million pinoys. He Has a LOOOOOONG way to go. And I hope he does man up along the way. [Mr. Coloma would be bald in 6 years if he doesn’t]. Man up or get out of the way for all out sakes. Get out of Mama’s saya and the shield of his loving Yellow army. See that things aren’t going as planned and certain people in his group ain’t competent enough of the position. And enough with the cars already! what would he get next? A titanium Audi A8? hahahaha. And try listening to the “noisy minority” that comments on his actions. Coz their probably the ones that are telling the truth.

  4. Cy says:

    DIGRESSIONS by DJ Cy

    Yo…. Please…. Don’t bite the lips that kiss you…. If you’re getting tormented just hide in that tortoise shell of yours…. Sabi nga ni, sino ba iyon? “Explain before you complain….” If you dislike media now just read the writing on the wall…. Peace…. A cryptic message from DJ Cy

  5. dumb-oh says:

    next year, he might get a yatch or personal jet.

    “eat kamote and kangkong while I enjoy mah porsche/lexus/whatevermyP68Billionbuysmenext year.”- pnoy

  6. Odin0 says:

    Priceless! This is from Juana Change!!!

    • junie says:

      kwawa naman c juana, during the campaign panay ang sipsip sa mga Aquino sisters. Ngaun tinitira na c noynoy. tsk tsk tsk

      juana, wg mo nang tirahin ang kandidato mo, kylangan mo lng magreduce ng konti, you’ll still get that government job. just like ricky c.

  7. Mike Lim says:

    Karma lang iyan. Noong panahon ni President Arroyo at kahit ngayon, siya at ang kanyang grupo ay panay atake kay Pres. Arroyo. At least ngayon ang atake sa kanya ay may ebidensiya.

    • kickapoo says:

      Yeah, yung 1million pesos Le Cirque dinner ni GMA, umani ng samut-saring batikos. Hindi naman din galing sa kaban ng bayan un. And now PNOY has Porsche and Lexi, walang hinto pa ang depensa nya….OH wait, its not walang hinto, its just that MEDIA lets him EXPLAIN everytime. Oh wow, nice one MEDIA.

  8. Hyden Toro says:

    One mistake of Noynoy Aquino in dealing with the opposition; including the ubiquitous Bloggers; will certainly start his political demise.
    In Egypt; the U.S. and the Western Countries; are very much worried that the: Muslim Brotherhood will take over. This is a Muslim Radical Organization by which, Osama Bin Laden , Zhawahiri, etc…all initiators of the Al Queda movement were former members. Hamas of Palestine and Hezbollah of Lebanon are lead by former Muslim Brotherhood members . So, they have to thread a Fine Line in replacing Mubarak. They don’t want another
    Iran in the area…
    In the Philippines; they have no problem…except just to replace an Incompetent President.
    No Al Queda; no communists; except political opportunists who may take advantage of the situation…

  9. Mike Lim says:

    Hindi maiiwasan na atakihin si President Aquino dahil hindi siya “a well-equiped President at ang working at living styles niya ay hindi mo kakikitaan na maka-mahirap siya o sabihin natin may pag-mamahal sa bayan.

  10. Jay says:

    Noynoy has, in fact, offered prayers that God might grant him sufficient “fortitude” to deal with it.

    For a nation ran and elected by sissies, this is appropriate. Can’t handle the heat? Pray to god and tell everyone to keep the kitchen as lukewarm as possible! But of course expect Noynoy and his PR team to start deflecting attention when it gets hot enough to more auspicious happenings, like corruption that involved former members of the admin. So while those old men suffering from either dementia, amnesia or senility to try figure out where the borrowed money went, PNoy himself won’t mind taking some of his bloated pork barrel funds and claim his right to clean, bachelor-like living that he’s being denied of now he’s the PREZ.

    see back in the last admin, the press was up in the GRILL at the administration. They themselves joined in the scrutiny, if in fact pointed to the masses as to WHAT to scrutinize. Now PNoy is prez and the yellah media specifically is still pointing at the old admin and supposed missing money, though in one of the cases it has more to do with dealing with the U.N. Its simple really. PNut will continue to validate and count on his expenses while he convinces the masses to pay up for rising costs in taxes, road maintenance and food. They complain, thinking they can pull an EGYPT but it doesn’t help anyway considering who did they put to represent them in the lower and higher levels of government?

  11. 515050 says:

    False humility, and mediocrity being passed around as excellence.

  12. kickapoo says:

    Here’s the new TEMPLATE that PNOY will be using for the next 6 years:

    1.Blame the past administration by bringing forth WITNESSES against their corruption.
    2.Dont mind if you dont have any evidence, a grilling at the Senate Blue Ribbon Committee plus ANC, ABS-CBN non-stop, up to date reporting will ensure that your allegations may seem to appear as THE TRUTH……Trial By Media.
    3.No need to file charges, Trial By Media is enough, Masa is pre-occupied.
    4.While this media circus is taking place, raise the rates of water and electricity, prices of basic commodities and gas.
    5.Print subjective reports in leading newspapers about the progress of the country.

    PNOY has a Bachelor’s Degree in Economics compared to GMA, who also has the same degree but graduated Cum Laude, and has a Doctorate Degree in Economics from U.P., How come PNOY managed to “uplift” the economy within a short period of 6 months, its like magic….like Lord of the Rings Magic…

    • Jay says:

      GOD trial by media. Its my first time watching it (as my parents did as well, my aunt/uncle has ANC and they were probably bored) and it is EVEN WORST than watching Small claims court on TV. At least small claims court gets settled! Here you see a play by play from commentators worst than John Madden and Joe Buck and NOTHING at all happens!

      PNoy certainly will be working his illusions with the help of his 3 headed PR hydra. You’d think after the 6 years, the 4 individuals would try make it big in Vegas.

    • Birdigator says:

      At least Gandalf was awesome. Aquino is a sorry pitiful bastard.

  13. puranzu says:

    Anyone here recall how mark logan’s segment was recalled and replaced?

    he was just about to criticize noynoy about him contracting HIV(Hair is Vanishing) and then it was cut and replaced before it ended

    Meh I doubt anyone of you guys notice such things

  14. ici says:

    IN THE MEANTIME…whatever happened to this issue with Asst. DoTC Sec. Virgie Torres?

    http://manilamail.com/archive/jan2011/11jan27.html

    with the crime wave at hand, these issues should not go under the radar or be forgotten with all this AFP hullabaloo, which really is old news to everyone.

  15. Hyden Toro says:

    Lexus and Porsche cars are luxuries in our country. A President, who have no sensitivity; by indulging in such luxuries; in the midst of widespread and grinding poverty of the Filipinos. Is really infuriating…That means to say: He can buy them, because he can afford them. It is our problem, if we are dying of hunger…this President has already dulled his senses…spoiled rich kid…from the Hacienda Luisita Plantation…his wealth came from his tenant-slaves…

  16. UP nn grad says:

    Noynoy is very getting angry at the media talking about the Lexus and the Porsche. He is also very angry at the corruption inside the AFP being uncovered (when he was Senator super-ubber fiscalizer watching AFP corruption).

    Baka sa galit no noyii noy-noy, he may work up to 5:15PM on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Pikang-pika na talaga.

    • Hyden Toro says:

      Cory Aquino, her late mother was our former President. Noynoy Aquino was a Congressman and a Senator. Can he convince me to believe him, that he does not know what were going on , in the AFP? The Military Men who plundered the AFP funds , were even in cahoot with the Commission on Audit (COA) people. Does this mean to say the the Senators and Congressmen; did not even look into these matters, on their watch, for many years?
      Retiring Generals and Military Men were going to Politics. Because, this is where the Pot of Gold is…I believe that these matters should be incorporated in : Ripley’s Believe It or Not….Ah Pobre Pilipinas…so near the Papa sa Roma…but, so far from God!!!

  17. Pingback: A Lexus to drive and God on his side – Noynoy's got it made | Pnoy Talks

  18. nitesoul says:

    you’ve made it big Mr. PNoy. i really am pissed right now with your cry-baby attitude. in all fairness, you now have a Porsche and now, a RENTED LEXUS. for your protection. from whom? from your Boss? darn it! tinawag mong BOSS ang mga tao tapos ganyan gagawin mo! sino namang magtatangka sa buhay mo? you have not proven anything yet aside from your incapacity to run this country that has already been robbed, messed and ruined by the former presidents, including your mom. naman! GIVE US A BREAK!

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